karchamal | The Song of Milkanwatha (Reply)

bangor_flying прочитал сабж. Я не фанат "Песни о Гайавате", а пародия почти всегда предсказуемо хуже оригинала (особенно если она занимает семьдесят страниц и довольно точно следует сюжету эпической поэмы).

Это, в общем-то, графомань, но графомань с проблесками той странной разновидности абсурдистского юмора, прекрасным образчиком которой является анекдот про зайца-топотуна. У Аввы был когда-то пост с вопросом "как бы вы объяснили инопланетянину, почему это смешно?" Так вот, я не знаю, как отвечать на этот вопрос в этом случае. Это просто смешно.

Ye who will not writhe nor wriggle
While I tell this story to you,
Will not look or act uneasy,
But will give your whole attention,
Without gaping, stretching, yawning,
While I tell this story to you;
Listen now, for I will tell it,
Tell it truly, as I told you,
As I told you I would tell it,
On condition, you remember,
That you would not writhe nor wriggle,
But would give your whole attention
Without gaping, stretching, yawning,
While I tell this story to you;
Listen now all ye, I pray you,
Hear this Song of Milkanwatha.

У Милканваты, как и у Гайаваты, есть два друга. Описание второго друга, по-моему, мило само по себе:

But, beside him, Milkanwatha
Loved the very fat man, Bee-del;
He, the fattest human being,
That you ever laid your eyes on.
From his very earliest childhood,
He was round, and fat, and lazy;
Did n't go a-squirrel hunting,
Did n't skate and did n't nothing -
Was n't like the other children;
But they understood the reason,
And they all were sorry for him,
'Cause he was of such a fatness -
'Cause his fatness grew upon him.

Once his mother said un-to him,
"Bee-del, you are good for nothing;
Always hanging round the wigwam,
Waddling round about the village,
Lying, sprawled out, in the sunshine,
You had best be doing something."

Not a word did Bee-del answer,
Not an observation made he,
But he waddled from the corner,
From the wigwam slowly waddled,
Went and stood upon the hillside,
Slowly sat down, slowly laid down,
Doubled up and started rolling;
Rolled right onward, forward, downward,
Down the green and sloping hill-side,
Down the hill-side kept a-rolling;
And his mother stood and watched him,
Wond'ring when he 'd stop a-rolling.

Nothing more was heard of Bee-del,
For six months and something over;
But, one morning, while a-baking,
Bee-del's mother heard a rumbling,
Like a big stone, tumbling downward
From the hill-top, up above her;
Went and looked, and there came Bee-del,
Came the fat man, rolling, rumbling,
Came a-rolling toward the wigwam,
Came and rolled in through the back-door,
Rolled right up into the corner,
And remained rolled up, in silence.

He had been, for six months, rolling,
Six months and a little over;
Rolling on from morn to evening,
And from season unto season,
Through all countries, nations, climates,
Past the zones and past the tropics,
Past the line of the equator,
Ever onward, forward, downward,
Till he got to where he came from -
Till he all the earth had rolled round.

Ну и напоследок, как можно не написать про докторов:

Then the doctors, Nau-she-atus,
Six in all, came in to see her;
Two and two, they came together,
Came and marched, three times, around her;

Then went up one to the bed-side,
"Put your tongue out, Pogee-wogee."
Hi-ai-ai! said all the doctors,
Ho-ang-ho! the queer old doctors,
And another went, observing,
Pogee-wogee 's got the Ague;
Hi-ai-ai! said all the doctors,
Ho-ang-ho! the queer old doctors.
And a third one followed, saying,
Pretty soon she 'll have the Fever;
Hi-ai-ai! said all the doctors —
Ho-ang-ho! the queer old doctors.
Then the other three did likewise;
After which, they marched together,
Two and two, around the bedstead,
Marched out from Marcosset's wigwam,
In the manner they had entered ;
Hi-ai-ai! the wise old doctor.—
Ho-ang-ho! the wondrous doctors.